When I was a little girl and I got asked what I wanted to do when I grew up I knew the answer straight away, I wanted to be Madonna.
I wanted to sing, and dance and wow audiences with my talent. I begged my mom for dancing lessons and practised singing and dancing at every available opportunity.
So when I was decided what to do upon completion of my Alevels I knew just what I wanted to do. It didn’t occur to me that a degree which qualified me to do something employable may be a good plan. Not me I was going to be somebody.
So I did a degree in contemporary dance. Oh yes I sashayed around with my fellow dance students conveying deep feelings and meaning with just a flick of my arm, or a pirouette.
Don’t get me wrong I loved my degree, I was passionate about dance. However I never gave a second thought to what I might do when qualified.
So I did the obvious empowering thing for an educated girl when I had completed the course. I moved in with my boyfriend.
After 6 months of teaching dance to over excited children I decided teaching wasn’t for me. Having also attended a few auditions for dance companies I’d also realised this was all a little competitive for little old me.
So I decided that perhaps my boyfriends industry was a little less competitive and still gave me the opportunity to perform. The industry in question, the circus, my boyfriend was a juggler.
So the obvious choice for a more sensible career meant moving to Bristol and going to circus school. This year ranks in the most fun times of my life thus far. I swung from the rafters, learned acrobatics and juggling and mixed with some really interesting characters.
Upon graduating circus school I did some travelling and street performing with my now husband. This helped me hone my craft and together we set up a circus company.
Tabra our company was pretty successful. We performed all over the country at a variety of different events. We did weddings, catwalk shows, festivals, fetes, theatres.
It was always enjoyable performing our act and we were usually well received.
After we had been performing for about six years I got pregnant. I continued to work a little after my first son was born. Childcare however is not well suited to weekends, and evening’s and travelling all over the country. We pretty much decided to stop performing and my husband retrained to be an electrician.
Now at home as a stay at home mom I have often found myself questioning my work situation. I had never particularly planned to be a stay at home mom it just sort of happened. I like that I’m always here when my children need me. I don’t like that I feel like I’ve no identity outside of mom, nothing to talk about other than my children.
However even if I looked for work, I’m pretty much qualified to do nothing. Looking to employ someone with a degree in contemporary dance and a diploma in circus skills, is a fairly unusual thing.
I’ve considered retraining, but I’m not really sure what as. Is there an open university degree in “becoming Madonna” ?
So there’s me stay at home mom of three with ambitions of grandeur. This blog for now is going to be my something. It’s my place, and it’s great.