I am married to a fantastic man. He is caring, considerate and really easy on the eyes. However he is a man (poor thing), and there are days when the things he does and the way he acts have me completely bewildered.
A recent bout of ‘omg how can I ever cohabit with the opposite sex?‘ has inspired me to write this post. I know that not all men or all women are the same, so please excuse my generalisations.
The differences between men and women:
Communication. I was recently at a children’s party. I watched as the children sat in a circle to play pass the parcel. The girls sat in a group and chatted. The boys rolled about on the floor, punched each other a couple of times, called each other silly names, and giggled. If we are honest I don’t think, going into adulthood, that much changes.
Dealing with emotions. When I am down I talk to my friends, and my husband. I try to figure out what’s bothering me. I try to find a way to feel better, whether that’s alone time or, as is usually the case for me, a large slice of chocolate cake. When my man is down he gets all silent and manly. He retreats into his man-cave and sits it out until the mood has passed.
Now, I’m not saying either method is better. However the fundamental problem is the way in which we try to help each other at these times.
When I’m down I want my man to comfort me and listen to my woes, without interruption. Unfortunately, my man wants to find a solution for me and fix things ASAP. When he is down, I want to help him talk through his problem,connect emotionally. He wants me to leave him alone.
Multi-tasking. Yes I know it’s a cliche but it’s so true. Men are rubbish at multi-tasking. If my husband is involved in a project- be it DIY, work or childcare related- then he finds it extremely irritating if I ask him to focus on something else at the same time.
I however, am generally making the kids packed lunches, answering questions about jet engines (my sons latest obsession), keeping the baby happy, and thinking through my day.
Now, I’m not saying that either sexes approach to life is better or worse than the other. Simply that these differences present problems when we try to live together.
I have been married for ten years. On the whole it has, so far, been a great marriage. Every now and then, when he is really being a man, I remember that he can’t help it, it’s just down to having XY chromosomes.
Something I totally relate to (as I’m sure many people will)!
My partner and I have to continually remind each other that we process the world differently hence why we don’t always understand each other (especially with the dealing with emotions)! Of course my way’s always best though… according to me 🙂
Well the temptation to paint us as the ones who are right was hard to resist ! Thanks for your comment
I read that men can’t “see” things straight away when they go to look for them due to differences in the way men and women process information – this explains why my H is forevercalling me to come and find something when it is actually staring him in the face (knowing this doesn’t stop me getting annoyed with him though!)
I have to admit it’s usually me who can’t find stuff in our house, whilst my hubby is pretty good. Thanks for your comment.