I think that being a stay at home mummy of small children can make you feel pretty isolated and lonely at times. You spend large chunks of your day in the company of little people who either can’t talk or when they do are passionate about things that may not make for the most stimulating conversation.
My mummy friends are more than just a nice thing to have, they are a total lifeline. Some adult conversation, someone to compare notes with, someone to drink bad tea with at the local toddler group. These friends can be found in many places, baby swimming classes, antenatal groups, or later waiting to collect children at the school gates.
I have suffered a bit of a double whammy when it comes to mummy friends. Firstly because I suffered post natal depression after the birth of each of my children I wasn’t really feeling sparkly enough to socialise. Secondly I have moved areas between each child so didn’t establish any friendship groups. It’s nice to have friends on your doorstop for that emergency tea and therapy because your youngest didn’t sleep last night and your eldest has decorated your carpet, with play dough.
Recently I have been fortunate enough to meet some really fabulous women. Perhaps the concentration of quirky is just right in the area we have moved to. This is good because I’m not great at smalltalk and have an underdeveloped brain to mouth connection at times. I’m grateful and keen to nurture my new relationships.
This is a little tricky at the moment as I’m still poorly. Some days I’m so anxious I can barely move let alone make decent conversation. On one particular occasion when asked by two new potential friends for coffee I responded “oh gosh no that would really be far too much right now”. I then stared at them like a startled sheep. Desperate to try and convince them I’m not a nutter I added “however I promise when I’m better I’m going to be really fun, and interesting”. Back away from the crazy woman in purple people.
This morning though I stepped out, way out, of my comfort zone. I was invited for coffee by the very same women (perhaps they were curious as to how interesting and fun I would be). I went back and forth over whether I was going to attend (mountain/molehill I know) and this morning decided I was up to it.
It was nice. I was nervous but I don’t think I said anything too ridiculous. They were all friendly and not a single one of them laughed at me , or ignored me or any of the stupid things I guess we are all afraid of.
So I have a list (yes I’m uptight, deal with it) of mummy friends. Some are old friends like my friend who has been with me through thick and thin since the birth of our first babies five years ago. Some are new but have already been really good friends to me. For those people I am very grateful, I can’t wait to be home, feeling better and ready to have some fun.