In 2010 I fell in love. This new love changed my life in ways I could never imagine. My new love entertained me, showed me new places, saved me money and even stopped me from ever getting lost. In fact without my love this blog may never have been born. My love has revolutionised my life and I appreciate what it’s given me.
However recently as often happens in relationships I have noticed a negative side. An insidious, controlling side. As in all love affairs things have soured somewhat. I have noticed that my love is demanding. It is coming between me and my friends, my husband and even my children. It demands attention whenever or wherever I am. It is distracting, annoying and sometimes down right rude.
If you haven’t already guessed I’m talking about the love I have for my iPhone. It really is marvellous with its maps, mobile social networking, camera and other useful apps. It really has changed how I use my phone (and also makes me feel a little bit like I’m in Star Trek). However I the way I have been using my phone is verging on addiction. I check social networks around fifteen times a day. I google regularly and thats on top of texting and phone calls. Sometimes I just gaze at it, knowing their it has so many uses and wandering what to do next.
This has got to stop! At best it is distracting, at worst neglectful. I should not be playing with my children with my mind half focussed on twitter (it should be half on where I hid the chocolate biscuits, far more healthy). When I am spending time with my friends I should be focussing my attention on them.Plus my husband is infinitely more fun and interesting than Facebook.
It has also become obvious that the person suffering most in all this is me. My already fragile mind has felt splintered, and distracted. Always thinking about something else or trying to do two things at once. Feeling that if I don’t keep on top of all this virtual interaction my blog will suffer, my stats will fall. This all feels important because I’m writing this blog dreaming of a something that takes this passion I have into a clearer form and makes it a career for me.
Regardless my first priority is and always will be my children so I am drawing a line in the sand here. I will not be social networking when I am with them. When I am in my mum/cleaner/cook/taxi service role I will commit to being that. This will be a hard habit to break, particularly when my husband is indulging his passion for Words With Friends. It is right there in my pocket, so easy to grab and have a quick peek.
Tomorrow I will be spending a (probably rainy) day at home with my children and I will be with them, present in the moment. You will not see me on twitter, I will not be responding to comments. To modernise an old saying social networking will be here tomorrow, my baby won’t keep. Feel free to comment letting me know how you cope with the pull of the smart phone or laptop. I will be excitedly checking comments in the evening when my children are in bed.
I so know what you mean Ella. Last November when I took part in that blogging every day I was having to try and draft posts during the day while I was write boys and it was awful because it is hard to do its successfully and as you say they are my priority too. I keep my blog stuff to the evenings now and I do tweet a little during the day but usually when one is asleep and the other is watching CBeebies (so I can drink a cup of tea *ahem*) or if I can tweet and play a the same time!
You have to draw a line because you can’t give 100% to both.
Well done for saying out loud what I have been think for a while xx
Thanks yes I think this is a problem for a lot of us mummy bloggers. I am feeling much calmer without this constant draw to check my phone.
I decided after getting quite addicted to some virtual world online ( now cured) that I would take breaks every vacation so I am offline at least 4 weeks a year. its really good to be free of it for a while, equally it has its place as a window to the world for a sahm.
I don’t use my phone for that sort of thing just my i pad (upstairs) and laptop, that makes it more of a thing I am aware I am checking and then can close the devise and walk away.
An Internet holiday sounds like a great idea. I think I will do the same.
I realy LIKE this! You have such clever things to say! We must remember to be “here and now”.
Thank`s again Ella!
Thanks Anne. Looking forward to seeing you in person again in a few weeks.
Thanks. Btw I’m replying now because both kids are asleep and I’m having a little break ;-).
Though I am sure my phone is smart I don’t let it be, if you know what I mean 🙂
I just go online on my laptop and quite often switch that off early evening for the same reason as you. Of course I am doing this comment next to my son watching Simpsons but….
I think online once you feel your feet and feel comfortable you worry less about missing the party as it was, but there does seem to be a bit of a pressure for bloggers. Never one to cave under pressure I go online now when it suits me and enjoy it more. Love having twitter lists that way you keep in touch more with the important ones 🙂
Hahaha I feel exactly the same way! Love the bit about how you start at it wondering what to do next, I always do that! x