Last year the summer holidays ended with me having a breakdown. At the end of last week I felt increasingly concerned that this summer was headed the same way. Simply put looking after three small children is hard work. To add to that since I am, if I’m honest, slightly terrified of looking after three small children on my own I tend to over schedule us. My reasoning goes like this, if I book in meet ups and activities for every moment that I am alone with the children I will not lose my mind. In fact the actuality is we all end up totally exhausted, the children start to act like crazed animals and I lose my mind.
Cue the end of last week, having spend three weeks keeping up with my insane timetable the children and I were shattered and unable to function. A trip out which didn’t run smoothly ended with me in floods of tears in the street for all to behold, humiliating and not the kind of parenting I aspire too. I finally realised something needed to give.
If I’m honest I tend to live my life at full speed, it is a revelation that perhaps if I didn’t do this my family may all be a little happier. I have an overwhelming fear of free time. So I fill it with plans, trips out etc. This was manageable pre-children but post it really doesn’t work for any of us. I fill the majority of days to the max leaving no time for down time or the essential stuff like ensuring we all have clean undies, and filling the cupboards with food. We all need a little bit of time to ‘smell the roses’.
So here is the plan, and those of you who know me in ‘real’ life feel free to hold me to it. Our days will be slower, we will do stuff in the am and be at home keeping our house functioning smoothly and getting rested in the pm. Also one of every weekend days (probably Sunday) will be reserved for getting chores done, resting, and having family only time. Having implemented this change a few days ago I already feel calmer, more at peace.
As a total newbie to this not running myself into the ground lifestyle I invite you my wonderful readers to help me. Share your top tips for structuring your week, getting your cleaning/domestic stuff done and generally feeling on top of things, please, I need all the help I can get.
Ok so they’re not roses but they smell nice.
Huge hugs. I only have a 3 year old, and it’s so hard not to overschedule!
I try to have one home day, and one “out” day in rotation. This stops exhaustion. I try to have a few ideas for activities on home days but keep it simple.
With chores, tidying as you go really helps, try and keep mess contained and get everyone to pitch in. Try and make chores fun too. My little boy already cleans windows, the bathroom and helps hoover!!! Make it a family thing.
Take time to enjoy the moment, don’t get caught up in “oh the house is a mess” if the kids are happy and your happy then its all good.
What a lovely realisation to come to and way of being to try and implement- well done to you! I agree with Kylie on tidying as you go, having everyone do their bit and making chores fun.
I would add to the comment about letting go of mess if everyone is happy- it’s about finding your happy medium. Some mums need to have a more tidy house to feel in control and on top of things, others don’t need to be tidy to feel this but have other things that are their priority for keeping sane! Take some time to find out what it is that works for you- it might be meal planning or putting a load of washing on before you go to bed. It might mean a rota of chores: I like that you have designated particular days for certain activities as this will help keep a routine.
It is also great modeling as a mum to show children about quiet time, rest time and me time- when you need it, talk to the kids about it and allow them the same opportunity for some me time of their own- we all need a little space every now and then.
Have a great time enjoying this new pace of life!
Thanks Kirsten, I’m pretty organised with where I sit regarding cleaning etc and am pretty organised with a meal plan, chores rota etc. It’s more that I don’t give myself time to implement my systems because I’m never at home, that’s what needs to change.