I rent my house, a fact which honestly I am a little embarrassed about. I didn’t get round to buying my own home at a time when it would have been more possible. At a time when we could buy something small and cheap with less regard for area and local schools, in order to get on the ladder.
I didn’t do it then because I was working as a circus artist, an industry in which attaching yourself to an area and property is not desirable.That lifestyle is about freedom and living outside of normal society, not looking to be average or mainstream, and buying a house wasn’t on my list of things to do. So I suppose my situation is off my own making but like most young people I couldn’t imagine a future me with children and responsibilities.
Now I am thirty something with three children and mental health issues. I crave stability and routine, I avoid change. Renting your home doesn’t provide stability, and the idea that I can be asked to leave my home at any time is a struggle. I have found a home I love in an area I’m comfortable in, a community I fit into and a great school for my children. I don’t like living with the idea that I may not be able to stay here.
Rents are rising rapidly and we may not be able to afford to rent in this area long term. My landlady plans to sell when the market is healthier, and I’m not sure what then. I have no deposit and no way of saving one, so buying is probably not an option. Whenever I think about it I feel overwhelmed.
For me owning my own home, preferably this home, would be less about money and savings and more about being able to stay put. To settle down, and to have a home that my children can grow up in.
Unfortunately for me, and for many other potential first time buyers in my position, that isn’t to be and I will have to get used to a lifetime of renting. I will need to try and get my head around frequent address changes and try and base my stability of mind on something other than my home.
I’m sorry if this post has felt a little like a pity party, I know that I’m more fortunate than a lot of people in the world. I will try to focus on what I have not what I don’t have. I just needed to put this out there and empty my head of it because it has been swirling round and round driving me crazy. Perhaps if I have shared I can move on with life and stop wishing for something that isn’t possible right now.
What do you think, is renting for ever insane or is it the way things will be for a generation for whom housing has become unrealistically expensive?