I rent my house, a fact which honestly I am a little embarrassed about. I didn’t get round to buying my own home at a time when it would have been more possible. At a time when we could buy something small and cheap with less regard for area and local schools, in order to get on the ladder.
I didn’t do it then because I was working as a circus artist, an industry in which attaching yourself to an area and property is not desirable.That lifestyle is about freedom and living outside of normal society, not looking to be average or mainstream, and buying a house wasn’t on my list of things to do. So I suppose my situation is off my own making but like most young people I couldn’t imagine a future me with children and responsibilities.
Now I am thirty something with three children and mental health issues. I crave stability and routine, I avoid change. Renting your home doesn’t provide stability, and the idea that I can be asked to leave my home at any time is a struggle. I have found a home I love in an area I’m comfortable in, a community I fit into and a great school for my children. I don’t like living with the idea that I may not be able to stay here.
Rents are rising rapidly and we may not be able to afford to rent in this area long term. My landlady plans to sell when the market is healthier, and I’m not sure what then. I have no deposit and no way of saving one, so buying is probably not an option. Whenever I think about it I feel overwhelmed.
For me owning my own home, preferably this home, would be less about money and savings and more about being able to stay put. To settle down, and to have a home that my children can grow up in.
Unfortunately for me, and for many other potential first time buyers in my position, that isn’t to be and I will have to get used to a lifetime of renting. I will need to try and get my head around frequent address changes and try and base my stability of mind on something other than my home.
I’m sorry if this post has felt a little like a pity party, I know that I’m more fortunate than a lot of people in the world. I will try to focus on what I have not what I don’t have. I just needed to put this out there and empty my head of it because it has been swirling round and round driving me crazy. Perhaps if I have shared I can move on with life and stop wishing for something that isn’t possible right now.
What do you think, is renting for ever insane or is it the way things will be for a generation for whom housing has become unrealistically expensive?
You know I love this, I love your honesty and I know when you have mental health issues it helps to write things down and get them out of your system…. I get tired of sugary sweet mummy blogs that are not realistic, where the truth isn’t told about how hard life can be when you are a parent. There will always be people worse off than we are but it doesn’t mean we don’t have the right to feel frustrated about situations we are in because on the other hand there are people who have it easy and have plenty of money without having to put any hard work in to get it. Sometimes no matter how hard you work, no matter what you try to do for the best you just can’t get where you want to be because of of things that are out of your control. Don’t feel embarrassed about renting , the very fact that you have written about this shows how much you care about your family and your future. You are doing your best and nobody can ever take that away from you…. I know it’s a cliche but you never know what’s around the corner and an opportunity might come your way in the future to help you make the changes that you want. xx
Thanks Jane, your thoughtful comment really does help.
I actually think renting might me the way forward. Although the bank owns our home. We are aware that our children will never be able to afford a home of their own unless something amazing happens in the interim.
I hated renting when we were waiting for this house to be finished when we relocated, but hell when you have nearly lost your home cause you couldn’t pay the mortgage (when I was ill and DH had to look after me) you learn that a mortgage can just be a millstone
Yes I think that if rents were not going out of the roof as they are currently and you could get long long term lets renting would be a great idea. Unfortunately at the mo that’s not the case. I can see how a morgage can be a millstone though.
We rent our house, too. I owned a house for 15 years, but when I got divorced I gave up the house and now I’m back to having not-very-much-at-all and I quite like it. We’ve found a house which we love, in an area we love, and right now we can afford it…if rents go up I’ll just have to find a way of managing (not sure how!). Can’t ever see myself getting back on the housing ladder unless I manage to make my book a bestseller!
Lets both write best sellers then 🙂
The whole issue of renting verses buying only became such an issue fairly recently i.e the 80’s. I would like to talk to you about this because having done both there are definite pro’s and con’s on both sides and I do understand your thoughts. There is no shame in renting, at least your not beholden to the banks in a really Big Way, which suits them, rather than you. You have more freedom than many people to move when You want to and change the situation to suit your needs. People don’t own their houses the banks do.. anyhow hon I do understand and hope we get to talk soon
Thanks, I can see that there are pro’s and cons to both and I’m not blind to the problems with owning. For me the issue at the moment is not wanting to move because someone else decides something if you see what I mean?
I hadn’t thought too much about renting as you have described it so you have made me think now as I had been wishing we could rent! We did just as you mentioned at the start of your post but unfortunately for us that was at the peak of the housing boom and eight years later find ourselves in negative equity trapped in too small a home in not too nice an area 🙁 So in many ways I feel if we had rented we would have more freedom to move but the stability issues are definite food for thought x
Oh that sucks for you, sorry. I hope in the future the prices rise and you get sorted.
As you say, there are pros and cons to each. We have our own (mortgaged) home. We didn’t make any money on the sale of our old house and as I’m a student, we struggled to afford this one. Sometimes I find it overwhelming that we will be paying money forever! Also whenever something goes wrong you have to fix it. I miss the days of calling the landlady and them fixing it! Up here some houses are rented on 15 year terms. That way both owner and landlord have stability.
If I could get a really long term lease like that I would feel much less uncertain, perhaps it will catch on.
hi i do both i own a 2 bedroom home i had before baby number 2 and couldn’t sell this due to the market so i rent that property out and i rent a 3 bedroom … i rent my 3 bedroom for half the monthly cost than my neighbours mortgage and i didn’t need a high 10% downpayment also i dont have to worry about repairs etc where as my 2 bedroom keeps costing me surprise billing for roof tiles and boiler repair so stick with your renting most people are renting properties out rather than selling so if you did have to move chances are you could get another in the same area thats what i have done my daughter goes to the same school we moved only a street away 🙂 p.s love ur blog 🙂
Thanks, you’re right there are a reasonable amount of rentals on the market. Sounds like you have the perfect compromise.
Renting isn’t insane at all. I have three cottages that I rent out. People need somewhere to live and as the banks are being awkward and expecting an average wage earner to come up with 10-20% deposits which they simply haven’t got, renting has to be the only way.
Thanks, yes you’re right. Oh if only we all had a spare 20 grand lying around.
I have just moved into a new (rented) home and i love it! It’s clean and homely…I have 7 month old and expecting again! I’m one of the only Mums I know here that rent…but I’m happy and I know that where ever we will live it will feel like home … its where the heart if remember x