Ok so, it started with an episode of one of Jamie Oliver’s crusade shows. In it our hero Jamie hits America to change their (admittedly appalling) school lunches. Anyway I’m watching it on the iPad as I cook dinner. As Jamie waxes lyrical about good nutrition and unprocessed fresh food the meal I’m preparing starts to look rather, well, shoddy. The meal in question, frozen fish fingers, oven chips and peas, is my ‘easy’ dinner. A large percentage of the week I cook fresh food from scratch, but this is my slummy can’t be bothered meal. So perhaps not the meal to cook whilst watching Jamie Oliver.

Then we cut to a scene where Jamie is at home with his, beautiful family. I should point out that I have had a girl crush on Jules Oliver since reading her pregnancy book during my first pregnancy. I do rather fancy myself as Jules prancing around with her attractive (though rather stupidly named) children, cooking in her giant kitchen then frolicking in the garden with the family looking every bit the model she used to be with her body which defies childbirth and hair which defies wind.

So in this scene Jules is cooking some wholesome but yummy dinner in their giant kitchen whilst Jamie plays with the children. At this point I somehow convince myself that if we were not about to eat oven food (no cooking required) I would be much more like Jules. Then I decide that the very next day I must take my children food shopping. Then I take the insanity one step further and decide we will all walk to the nearest local shops (not that local when dragging kids) where we will be redeemed of the oven chips by shopping locally (because Jules would do that).

So we all head out and at first I do feel pretty good, shopping locally is obviously the best way to shop and at this point the children were pretty enthusiastic about the idea. We hit the ‘Scoop and Save’ where wheatgrass eating hippies admire my children whilst I scoop flour, sugar and dried fruit into bags. This fills the buggy trolley. Then we hit the Co-op (not exactly local but hey) As I go through my shopping list I begin to realise I’m never going to carry all the food I need on the buggy up the big hill back to my house. So I buy the essentials, whilst the children wrestle in the cheese aisle.

Finally the Green Grocers, I consider a pineapple for a wholesome Jamie style smoothie then decide it’s too heavy for my already heaving buggy. So again I get the essentials and move on. We head on home with at least some of what we needed and I start to rate the trip a success, after all we shopped locally and I have food. Then I run into a friend and walk a little way with her, squeezing the laden buggy through a tight gap I am unaware I have made a hole in one of the shopping bags. Then later I notice my food in a trail behind me and have to go back and pick it all up.

By this point Wonder Girl is wailing having been confined to her buggy for too long. The boys are also tired and whiny and I’m thinking that perhaps being Jules Oliver is not all it’s cracked up to be.

my beautiful children

Snuggling on the sofa with my beautiful children I remember that my husband may not be Jamie Oliver but he probably spends more time with us.