One minute I have an hour, so I dawdle a little. I check twitter, I leisurely make packed lunches and I stare out of my kitchen window (which looks onto a busy street) and people watch. Suddenly I don’t have an hour, I have seconds, and my children are not ready to leave the house.

“Time for school” I shout, desperately optimistic that this will be the morning that they dash down the stairs, put on their shoes and line up by the door. After which we will all climb on our flying pigs and ride to school. They slowly tumble down the stairs, wrestling as they come, why is it that children have absolutely no sense of urgency?

“Put your shoes on!”

I turn to put Wonder Girl’s boots on.

“Muuum Robo Boy is jumping on me”.

“Robo Boy stop jumping on Super Kid and put your shoes on”.

I turn back to Wonder Girl.

“But Mum Super Kid pinched my shoulder and stuck his wet finger in my ear”.

“Right Super Kid stop that at once, put your shoes on or no Nintendo after school”.

I put on Wonder Girl’s boots, coat and hat, put up the buggy and turn around expecting some progress. Super Kid is singing and Robo Boy is staring into space shoes in hands.

“Arrrgggh right no Nintendo for a week, now shoes on!”

I grab the lunch bags and book bags, sling them on the buggy, pop outside and grab the scooters. I return to see Super Kid ready and no further progress from Robo Boy who is talking to his fingers.  I consider taking the easy option and putting them on for him but in the long run no good can come from this (Robo Boy will then claim he can’t do it himself and site this day as evidence).

“Robo Boy put on your shoes, right now”

I am close to imploding when finally Robo Boy puts his shoes on. We make it out of the house.