Wife, Mother, Daughter, Circus Artist, Loser, Winner, Kooky, Funny, Mental.These are all labels I have worn at various times in my life. Life likes to label us. Some labels are easier to wear than others but I have always tried to be honest with you about the labels that I’m dealing with. I have written about my depression, panic attacks and mood swings. I have openly admitted that I believe in pixies (though anyone who doesn’t is obviously delusional). I have shared my love of all things Jules Oliver and even written about my desire to be Julie Andrews.
Then around a month ago I saw a doctor who gave me a new label. For some reason the idea of sharing this label with you was a step too far. I decided I would keep this part back, be private for once. Which is reasonable, possibly even advisable. But since I have worn my heart on my sleeve here, the not sharing has made it hard for me to write at all. Like not telling my husband, or my best friend, not telling you feels weird. So here it is. I have M.E. otherwise known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I have been tired, sick, and aching for a long time. I saw my GP who ran blood tests, and referred me to a specialist. The specialist diagnosed me with M.E.
So M.E. in a nutshell, as explained to me. My brain sent my immune system to fight a war with a stressor (virus, pregnancy, stressful situation). The stressor left but my brain didn’t figure it out and my immune system is still fighting. So headaches, nausea, aches, sore throats, tiredness. All the immune responses you might expect from something like the flu. For no good reason. Stupid brain.
The good news is I will get better. I will be getting treatment and support from a specialist team in Bristol and I will beat this. It will take time, and it will be a challenge but I will beat this, end of. It’s all cool, I am fine and my life still rocks.