The moment I peed on the most important stick I have ever peed on (and yes I have peed on other sticks, I’m weird like that) was the very last moment in which I was my only concern.

I took Wonder Girl and Robo Boy to do a little shopping earlier this week. I wanted to find a  dress to wear to a little blogging conference I’m attending this weekend (squeee). It wasn’t the easiest shopping trip ever. Wonder Girl was being her usual age two self, throwing herself on the floor and screaming because I was insisting she hold my hand. Robo boy was being beautifully behaved. Such a small insignificant day really, but still there is endless worry.

The guilt. The many levels of guilt. First am I doing the right thing by Wonder Girl insisting she hold my hand despite her upset? I don’t want to be a hand holding fascist. Perhaps I am setting her up for a lifetime of control issues by insisting on this. Robo Boy is being so good, it’s not fair that he get so little attention because of Wonder Girls antics. Perhaps I am setting him up for a lifetime of feeling ignored and alone. In fact I shouldn’t even be here because me needing a dress for a silly self indulgent trip to London is unnecessary. I am putting my children secondary to my own needs, bad Mum.

I mean geez right. Nearly every decision I make has a consequence to my children. That’s some responsibility. If I feed them the wrong things they will have health problems. If I let them watch too much TV they will be obese and have attention span issues. Let them play computer games and they might become aggressive.

If I work I’m a neglectful parent. If I don’t work I’m not a useful member of society. Parenting is like those rigged games at carnivals, it’s not possible to get it completely right. You will never get the ball into the bucket and win the stuffed good parenting trophy.

I want my children to have perfect lives in rose coloured worlds. I want them to be healthy, happy and fulfilled. I want to find the magic parenting technique to ensure that their future is positive and wonderful.

I think I am excessive in the amount I worry about my parenting. I think this is because I didn’t have the ideal childhood, so I want better for my children. I don’t just want average, I want picture perfect. I need to chill the heck out. I have known this for a long time but I don’t know how. I’m afraid that if I chill out I will slide down a slippery slope. That if I relax a little then before I know it we will all be eating jaffa cakes for dinner and watching cartoons all day long.

Please share your experiences of parental guilt and how you deal with it. Where is the middle ground, and what is the name of that parenting guru who has all the answers?

parental guilt