Slow has never been my style. I’ve always thrived on activity, hectic is my normal. I’m honestly not sure I’m capable of slowing down. Since my diagnosis of CFS/ME back in April I’ve been aware that I need to change my approach. I need to pace myself. The consequences of not doing so are that I end up forced to slow down by my symptoms, yet as soon as I recover I seem to get back on the merry go round and do it all over again.
Part of the problem is not wanting to miss out on social time with my lovely friends. I can just about manage my families schedule of school runs, out of school activities, chores and family time. Anything extra is often too much. I’ve got some lovely friends, real true friends who like me for who I am and are supportive, fun and just all round wonderful. I want to see them. I don’t want to seem rude by being unavailable but realistically I can’t keep up the pace I’ve been setting, not unless I can get some of my pixies doing the housework!
The other, and probably main problem is that I’m simply not comfortable when I have no plan. So even if I free up a day, and intend to dedicate the whole or part of it to getting some rest I don’t see it through. When I wake up in the morning with a chunk of unplanned time ahead in the day I panic. For some reason I need to fill all my time or I feel anxious. Then I’m on the merry go round of being too busy, very tired and feeling unable to do anything about it.
This needs to change, it has to change, I cannot continue on with this cycle of bust and boom. Beside which I’m becoming less convinced that a rushed life is the best approach anyway. Illness aside I need time to potter, to daydream, to watch the flowers grow.
I’m asking for you advice, tips on slowing down, clearing a seemingly impossible schedule. Leave me a comment and I will take some steps forward in slowing down this whirling dervish!
Schedule restful and relaxing things to do into your plan. That way it is part of your plan so you know that what you are doing, it just happens to be a relaxing thing to do rather than a racing around hectic one.
Though I do not where you are coming and really should take my own advice!!! x x x
Yes, a good idea, I think though that I need to schedule some nothing at all time more than scheduling more things if you get what I mean?
Oh gosh did I exhaust you?
Over the summer when thing were frantic I had a calendar printed from the inter web with all our plans on it, I could stick it in my pocket, it more visual than phone diary. We need chill out and catch up days without a clear plan of the month I end up over committing. Can you ask for more help? Maybe other parents with after school stuff?
A little but in a good way :-). I don’t ask for help because I can’t see a point, right now, when I would be able to repay that help and would just end up feeling endebted. Think I need to work this one out on my own.
Hi I have had M.E/CFS for the last 4 1/2 yrs. I was an on the go all the time kinda person- every minute filled with……….something. I had to give up working as a driving instructor and totally lived the boom and bust for a long time. In a way I still do. However, I think acceptance is a major factor and it took me a long time to accept and almost mourn for the life I had! Sounds weird but it did help. I now pace myself around what I have to do- ie: if I know I’m meeting friends I have a slow day before hand and sleep the morning after. If I have stuff to do with the kids I don’t plan anything else. I spend a couple of hours each day in bed to fully rest, but I try not to miss out on anything! The housework piles up inevitably but it’s not the most important thing on the planet!! Once you fully accept your diagnosis things generally become easier to manage- I live by a list each day- what desperately needs doing and what can be left.
Hope you manage to work it out- please feel free to get in touch if you need to chat to someone who knows exactly what you are going through 🙂 xx
Hi, thanks for commenting. You’re right on all counts, acceptance is the first step, which is hard when it means such limitations. I’d love to be in touch, it’s so hard to understand unless you’ve been there.
I think you need some sort of chart, and a colour for ‘resting’. Then you can block out a chunk of time in that colour and it will feel like a Proper Plan.
I thought about that, then decided this would be too much alongside all the other commitments, school runs, kids activities etc. So just trying to schedule in less of that so there are gaps.