I’m giving up reading parenting advice. Why? Because reading parenting advice is making me nuts. It’s giving me a serious case of multiple parenting styles disorder. Unable to decide on the best way to handle things I approach parenting like one of those multi cuisine buffet restaurants. I pile my plate high with various parenting styles, and hope that one of them does the job.
Parenting advice makes me feel guilty. Don’t call it the naughty step or the kids will have no self esteem. Don’t shout, ever. Give boundaries, but don’t break the spirit. Honestly it’s a surprise to me that we function as a species considering how many different ways a parent can screw up their child!
Instinct, counts for a lot. Love counts hugely too. Surely if my children are loved then that will be enough (along with food, education, and clothing obviously). I cannot do more than my best. Even if Dr Sears says I ought to find it in myself to do a little more.
Trying to do it ‘right’ makes me crazy, and frustrated when my children don’t behave like the book says they should. It can feel like trying to figure out how to use my hoover with the washing machine manual. I am tired from trying too hard, and exhaustion leads to shoutyness which leads to further guilt because I didn’t do it right.
I pledge to love my children wholeheartedly. I will provide them with everything they need, within the resources I have. I will follow my instinct, and deal with situations as they arise using a combination of gut feeling and common sense. I say no to parenting techniques and yes to knowing my children and implementing what’s right for them as individuals. I promise to always try my best to give them a good childhood, and equip them with the resources that they’ll need in adult life. I will no longer be asking Super Nanny how to do that, because in my heart, and my gut I have all the information that I need.