I’ve always believed I was an extrovert. I was a performer and craved attention, I talk a lot and like to stand out. Classic extrovert, right? Then yesterday a friend put up the following article on his Facebook feed. I connected with every single point, so I’m questioning am I an introvert playing an extrovert as the article mentions in point 5. Honestly I think I am.
When I performed I always liked the idea of performing, and the subsequent attention more than the actuality. Actually I rather like being alone, at home, cuddled under a blanket with a good book, film or my laptop. My favourite part of most days is the evening when it’s just me and Mr Purple and no-one is expecting entertainment from me.
I think I play the extrovert for two reasons. Firstly a general insecurity about how I think I should be living my life. That I ‘should’ be a social butterfly, always on, networking and partying, shiny and successful. When the reality is that I often feel alone and insecure in a crowd and find being ‘on’ for any length of time completely draining. Secondly I do it because I think that’s what people want from me. I start conversations, try to keep a happily, bubbly atmosphere at any gathering. People like having someone around who is chatty, sparkly, if I wasn’t then perhaps I’d be less popular?
Honestly though, having reached these conclusions I feel like I want to let me natural introvert out once in a while. Spend time alone without feeling like I’m failing at life. Be quieter at a party, turn off the pressure. I don’t have to be loud to be happy!
What do you think? Are you an introvert or an extrovert. If you tent more towards quiet contemplation do you feel under pressure to be more ‘sparkly’?