She kisses me goodbye, and I leave her. It’s a bittersweet time. I’m happy to see her testing her wings, sad to lose my morning companion. We’ve had so much fun, but now it’s time for her to make her first steps into the world of her own life. It’s time for me to look in the mirror and remember me.
Who is underneath this Mum label, worn solidly for over seven years since the birth of my eldest? Who was I before my life revolved around their childhood? Do I still want to be she, or is there a new me, am I leaving the cocoon with freshly coloured wings?
There’s no rush, I have the rest of my life to find out. Outside of school I’m still very much needed and when I’m alone I can explore what I’ll want during the times that I’m not.
As for her she’s having a blast, socialising, having fun and, as usual, grabbing the experience with both hands. She’s also having her moments. Calling for Mummy during Pre School, telling me she’s missed me, pulling me close and refusing to share me with anyone. We’re close, a shared wonderful relationship that I hope will keep flourishing for the rest of my life. For now though, she needs to make her mark, on her own, for a few short hours a day, at Pre School.